Walking into Anora, I was expecting an artsy take on the stereotypical rags to riches romance: a poor girl meets a rich, handsome boy who sweeps her off her feet and shows her a life of luxury and bliss. What I received instead was a harsh fistful of reality. At no point during the movie is it hinted that things are going to work out for the main character, Ani. But thanks to the countless fairytales and love stories I’ve been fed over the course of my life, I held out hope that things would work out. That’s where I saw myself in Ani the most.

We’re both sex workers, both highly independent, and we both got married at the exact same chapel in Vegas – but her sense of determination and optimism is what sealed Anora as a film for me. There were brief moments where the rest of the cast caught my attention, but the ongoing connection I had to Mikey Madison’s character was indisputable. Throughout all of the twists and turns of the story, she continued to hold out hope that she’d have her happy ending if she could just be heard. Unfortunately, due to the negative stereotype that comes from being a sex worker, she’s repeatedly dismissed and treated like a disposable pet rather than a person – her voice never truly being heard. Even when the movie hints that an underdog could potentially sweep her off her feet and whisk her away from it all, there’s still an all too familiar sense of general disdain. It’s not until the very end of the movie when the credits roll over the sound of an idling car that you realize it’s really over, that no one is coming to save her. It’s a moment that leaves the viewer with a humble reminder that their dreams can always come crashing down when least expected.

In a situation where the atrocities of the world are enough to make a girl like me want to end it all on a daily basis, there’s really no other option than to look upwards. Sure, my hopefulness may not be authentic, and maybe deep down I know things won’t work out – but the attitude I choose to bring to the table is the only thing holding me together in such a bitter existence. Similar to Ani, I too am motivated by the fight for my dream. Granted my dream may not be living in a mansion with a wealthy Russian, but it does involve feeling secure and happy and free from the stresses of the modern-day grind. Unfortunately, as the film came to a close, I was reminded that even the people with the strongest will and most hope in their hearts, can still be broken by reality. It’s how you choose to interpret and learn from those losses that defines who you are.

Between the snide comments from a jealous dancer, the dehumanization from the upper class, and the complete disregard for her voice, I could practically see myself on the screen in Ani. Granted, the form of work I do doesn’t require grinding on strangers, but I’ve seen the disapproving look on people’s faces when they learn how I make that portion of my living. For the most part, I know it’s not intentional. I’m still the same person I’ve always been, yet the way I’m treated is always slightly different — like I’m no longer an equal or like the way I make my money is illegitimate. I’ve learned to deal with the negative aspects of the job: the subhuman treatment, the never-ending stream of insults and threats, the lack of respect for me as a person, the awkward interactions — and, like Ani, I like to think I’ve done a good job of maintaining a positive outlook. However, in the back of my mind, I will always be keenly aware of the stigma that I’ve picked up doing what I do.

While the overall mood of the movie may have been chaotic and upsetting, aesthetically speaking, the film was stunning. The bright colors, the perspectives, the soundtrack — it was all spot on, but what really impressed me was how the story was told. The film doesn’t shy away from the hard-to-watch moments, but it also doesn’t lean into them. It felt exactly like how experiencing all of those things would feel. There’s no hyper-fixation on specific details, just a flurry of chaos broken up by a couple of soft moments. Granted, some of the digs at Ani may have lingered a little longer with me than your average viewer, but overall, the film just felt accurate to my experience. The overwhelming and uncomfortable sense of familiarity I felt throughout the entire movie matched perfectly with what unfolded on the screen, making it even more captivating.

As I walked out of the theater, there was a group of middle-aged women making snide comments about how awful the movie was. They may have simply hated the movie, but I believe they were actually just struggling to understand their own feelings. Sure, they may not have felt an emotional connection to a struggling young stripper because they had never struggled in a way that felt comparable; maybe they simply had a disdain for sex workers and on-screen nudity. There’s no denying that the movie would have left anyone, no matter how disconnected, with a bitter taste in their mouth. And maybe that’s the point. Not everything is a fairytale and not everything will workout the way you want it to. Life is messy and unfortunate and will leave you feeling empty a lot of the time. Anora was just a reminder of that.

‘Anora’ - Review

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